I watch these women on television who teeter along on spike heel shoes and I know deep down they are going to suffer because of them, if they are not already suffering.
They say they make their legs look prettier. The people who make them encourage all the models to wear them because that will sell more shoes. They are getting a fortune for some of these big spikes with the red soles.
It is a scam, pure and simple.
The only thing I have ever heard as a reasonable use for such a shoe was as a stabbing devise. You could really put a hurt on somebody with one of those stiletto heels. On TV, I have heard of it being done.
For the past few years you would think I have become the skipper of a yacht. (Did you know that “yacht” is an anagram of “Cathy”?)
I do not own a yacht, or even a rowboat, but I wear what are called boat shoes, all the time. They are comfortable, they are always ready in case somebody invites me onto his boat and they last forever and ever. A good buy.
When I met my first pair of Sebagos, it was at a shoe store in Kemah. I think they sold nothing but boat gear, including clothes. I also think they are no longer open.
When I could not find that store again, I got on the Internet and found just what I was looking for. And I have been a boater ever since.
Back in my salad days, I remember progressing from one fashion to another. I even wore some high heels somewhere along the line, trying to look like all the other ladies.
But my look, most of the time, was saddle oxfords. Remember them? If you are of a certain age, you do.
They came in white, with different colored center sections, the saddles, but the only ones that were acceptable in our crowd were brown. Brown and white saddle oxfords. And you had to polish the white all the time without getting any on the saddle. Remember shoe polish?
Saddle oxfords, like my boat shoes, had thick white rubber soles — as well as I can remember. So you couldn’t dance in them. Not well, anyway. Which led to the creation of sock hops. Remember sock hops?
There’s one more shoe we all wore during those salad days.
A penny loafer. I’ve still got a pair of those, but they don’t have pennies in them.
At the time of their popularity, I would not have been caught dead without pennies in my penny loafers.
I just now remembered one more shoe good for going almost anywhere. The hushpuppy. Remember the hushpuppy?
Saddles. Loafers. Hushpuppies. All good.
I almost forgot two more. Ballet slippers and tennis shoes.
But no to all the spikes. Then, now and forever.
Cathy Gillentine is a columnist for the Daily News and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.